We’ve only got five billion years till the shops close.
On the upside, I’m now relating to a portion of Hamlet that I was never much interested in before and it’s making my portion of the project the fucking BOMB.
The Wild Bunny by Sander Cohen:
I want to take the ears off, but I can’t. I hop, and when I hop, I never get off the ground. It’s my curse, my eternal curse! I want to take the ears off but I can’t! It’s my curse! It’s my fucking curse! I want to take the ears off! Please! Take them off! Please!
The word-for-word parallels make me sick.
1. If he doesn’t answer, don’t keep sending texts. If he wanted to talk to you, he would’ve responded.
2. People will make time for you when they care about you. If he says he’s too busy or constantly cancels his plans, he doesn’t care. People fight for you when they care.
3. Don’t let him touch you on the first date. If he tries, he’s not there for the same reasons you are.
4. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.
5. If he can stomach more than ten straight shots without feeling a thing, he drinks too much.
6. Ask the uncomfortable things. When was the last time he was so high he couldn’t speak? What does he regret the most? Does he drink to remember or to forget?
7. Don’t send pictures unless you want to. If he has to talk you into it, don’t do it. If you hesitate, don’t do it. If you do take a picture, don’t include your face. Keep yourself safe.
8. If you can’t laugh when you’re having sex with him, maybe you aren’t sleeping with the right person. Sex isn’t about tricks and tips and routines.
9. If he hurts you, cut him out. He’s gone, he isn’t coming back, and you don’t need to prolong the pain.
10. Don’t be afraid to open up again. I promise not everyone will love you with a knife behind their back.” — Boy advice from someone who made the same mistakes too often (via guiseofgentlewords)
mum says i’m not to play with the other children, because they’re ‘being raised on a diet of dog-eat-dog’. i wanted to see these dog-eaters… so i waited until mum was gone… and went out to find one… and guess what? the dog eaters wear human skins… it makes them look just like us!
What do we say to the god of death?
- Persephone: do you think Cerberus would get along with a terrifying demon cat?
- Persephone: hypothetically. If I found a kitten or something.
I can think of two good reasons for a sore butt and one of them is yoga.